Washington Horror Blog

SEMI-FICTIONAL CHRONICLE of the EVIL THAT INFECTS WASHINGTON, D.C. To read Prologue and Character Guide, please see www.washingtonhorrorblog.com, updated 6/6//2017. Follow Washington Water Woman on Twitter @HorrorDC ....

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Public Service

It had been a long time since Sebastian L'Arche had attended a support group for Iraqi war veterans.  In truth, he had come a long way since seeing the combat and prisoner abuses that had led him to retreat (for the most part) away from people and into a world surrounded by animals.  But something about Trump's Tweets this week had brought him back, and he wasn't the only one looking around in vain for an empty chair as people fanned out across the VFW hall looking for additional folding chairs.

"L'Arche!" somebody called to him, but Sebastian didn't recognize her.

"It's me, Ward!  It used to be Arthur Ward, but now I'm Athena Ward."

"Oh!" said Sebastian.  "Wow, okay, well, good for you."

"Shit hit the fan this week, you know?"

"You aren't still on active duty?" asked Sebastian.

"No, but this is messing with me badly.  I served my country!  I did, and nobody in Trump's family served!  Where the Hell does he get off saying trans can't serve anymore?!"

"It's messed up," replied Sebastian.  "The Attorney General met a couple of weeks ago with the folks behind that North Carolina bathroom bill."

"What!?" exclaimed another veteran, interjecting himself into the conversation.

"After all the shit that went down in Iraq," said Sebastian, "when the Generals just looked the other way about the WMD lies and the torture, what I don't get is why are they pushing back on the trans thing?"

"Why shouldn't they be!?" exclaimed Athena, angrily.

"Trump is bat shit crazy, is what I'm saying," replied Sebastian.  "They haven't taken the nuclear football away from him, but the generals are pushing back on the trans thing?  What the Hell is going on?"

"Maybe they never gave him those nuclear launch codes, you know?" said the stranger, who then introduced himself as Ed.  "I mean, if Scaramucci thinks Reince Priebus was a 'freaking paranoid schizo', what the Hell's the diagnosis for Trump himself?  I think this 'malignant narcissist' is a bit weak, you know?"

"And now DOJ says EEOC shouldn't be protectin' LBGT rights!" cried Athena.  "They aren't civil rights!  I'm a black trans vet, I served in Iraq, and nobody's got my back!"  Athena started crying, which startled Sebastian even more than her appearance, but he put his arm around her.  "I fought in that Hell Hole for what?!  He goes golfing at his private clubs every weekend!"

"My buddy in the Coast Guard says they're draining a tenth of the budget on these golf club outings," said Ed.  "He doesn't give a damn about protecting the country, never did!"

"It's all bullshit," said Sebastian.  "Trump decapitated Homeland Security because he needed a new babysitter at the White House!"

"Yeah, but Priebus was a moron," said Ed, "and he couldn't deliver Obamacare repeal."

"Anybody working for Trump is a moron!" sniffed Athena.

"I don't know about that," said Sebastian.  "This is what's freaking me out:  what if the military is plotting a coup, just waiting for the White House to get crazy enough to justify doing it?  Then they say North Korea or Russia are taking advantage of the chaos to go after us, and they need to take charge."

"That would be the best thing that could happen!" declared Ed.

"That's what they want us to think!" said Sebastian.  "But then we lose all control!  Congress becomes completely irrelevant!"

"They're already useless," said Ed.

"No, not yet!" declared Sebastian, more from philosophical conviction than actual observation.  "No, not yet."

Out at the Arlington home for the mentally challenged, psychologist Leo Schwartz was observing how the residents were interacting with their visitors during the backyard picnic, pondering whether it was fair to keep them relegated here while taxpayers funded the likes of Trump, Miller, Gorka, and Scaramucci blowing up the White House.  If he had a single one of those guys living here, he would be recommending them for psychiatric holds at the hospital!  Danger to themselves, danger to others.  He watched Millie the helping dog sidle up to Theresa to help her deal with the shrill mother that made her nervous.  He watched Buckner show his sister the home-made pickle relish he had made for the picnic.  He watched Cedric having a conversation with his stuffed bear Aloysius about the CIA, and the psychologist wondered how "crazy" would be redefined now that the American Psychoanalysts' Association had reversed their policy about not commenting on the mental health of public officials.  Public-official-completely-out-of-touch-with-reality-and-a-massive-menace-to-society-syndrome.

Back in the city, White House gardener Bridge stabbed angrily at the dandelions, listening to the ghosts vote on who would take responsibility for whispering into the ear of the new Chief of Staff.

The dog days of summer in the secret Russia Caucus!


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