The road to revenge begins! (And birthday cake!)
Angela de la Paz said "Happy Birthday!" one more time to Buffy Cordelia, and little Delia said "Happy Birthday!" one more time to Angela, and the joint birthday party for the 21-year-old and 4-year old was over. Angela gave Delia a kiss and a tight squeeze, picked up her bag of gifts and cake, and waved goodbye to Charles Wu, Lynnette Wong, and Delia's governess. She walked past the neighbors' house, where the baby boy she had given up for adoption lived, sighed deeply with a bittersweet ache, then continued on to her next rendezvous--an angry, mourning Dulles Samuelson. No champagne, but maybe tequila....
Several miles away, Barbara Hellmeister was popping a champagne bottle for herself--or, rather, a bottle of sparkling wine from the Rhine Valley. She had just tested a bio-targeting neutron bomb that successfully killed all the squirrels in her backyard, and every other backyard on the block of dilapidated Southeast rowhouses she was currently hiding out in. The birds and insects were all still alive, and the handful of humans living in the other houses, but the squirrels were dead as doorknobs! The money given to her by the Bicameral Anti-Zombie Caucus for this research was not a lot, but she had made significant progress. (The Caucus knew her as "Betty Brandt", a biochemist, and had no idea that it was her previous experiments under the name of "Basia Karbusky" which had started the zombie epidemic in Washington.) She sipped champagne, re-read some pages from her Nazi grandfather's notebook, then wrote down some notes in her own. She looked out on the three squirrels that had fallen dead out of tree branches, knowing there were probably ten more in the bushes she would have to clean up--but sometimes this kind of work did get messy.
But could she create a bio-marker for zombies? This was the $64,000 question. And while she did feel a little responsible for the zombie epidemic in Congress, there were other voting blocs in Congress that bothered her a lot more than the Zombie Caucus! But she couldn't do a bio-marker for those groups unless she got DNA samples from every member, and then, of course, a lot of other people would probably die as well. So while she was working on analyzing zombie tissue to create a bio-marker for them, she was really more interested in when she might see the FBI Director and his deputies testifying on Capitol Hill--and could drop a 400-foot-radius neutron bomb on them! But the Anti-Zombie Caucus was getting restless and would probably not give her funding for much longer. She picked up the phone to call Congressman Herrmark's Chief of Staff and tell her that she had just successfully deployed a bio-targeted neutron bomb, and needed another $100,000 to work on the zombie bio-marker...and buy more explosive materials!
Up on Capitol Hill, former Supreme Court clerk Wince had finally finished and emailed off the memo requested by his Lye, Cheit and Steele boss. He got himself another snack and sat back down at his personal computer, resolved to make one more attempt to hack into his former fiancée's cloud account to see whom she was dating. He had tried every possible password he could think of, and was starting to believe she must be using the name of that very same boyfriend Wince was trying to discover. He looked at her Facebook one more time for a clue--any clue. It was impossible she didn't have a new boyfriend by now! Why was she hiding him? And that's when it hit him: she is hiding him! But why? She's ashamed of him, or he's somebody that I know, or he's married--no, she would never date a married guy! He poured more Fritos into his mouth, then started searching Facebook to look for others who had tagged Bridezilla. It took a quarter-hour, but he finally saw it: a photo posted by somebody on a trip to Cuba had her tagged in it! Her Cuba Practices Group trip! He scanned the photo and then saw him: the good-looking guy Bridezilla was looking at...tagged "Paul".
He went into the cloud again, and after trying several variations of "Paul", he finally hacked into her account. After that, it didn't take long to find the pictures. A total dreamboat of a guy. Why is she not posting him on her own Facebook? Ten minutes later, Wince figured out that dreamboat Paul was a lowly contract attorney! She's dating a loser! He laughed out loud. She had broken their engagement--their second engagement!--and was now having a shameful affair with an underling! He rubbed his hands in glee, pondering how many different ways he could embarrass her with this information. Then Wince did a little more research on Paul and found some other tags on Facebook which maybe Bridezilla had not seen....Paul is gay? Bisexual? Oh, baby! This is not going to end well for you!
Back in Northwest, Angela de la Paz walked into the late Button Samuelson's apartment. "How ya doing?" she asked Button's brother, Dulles, whom she had met a few days earlier at the funeral. He shook his head, and she realized it was a stupid question. "I brought leftover cake from a 4-year-old's birthday party," Angela said. "You want some?" She pulled it out of the bag without waiting for an answer, and got out plates and forks. She looked around for liquor and found an open bottle of wine. They sat at the table in silence for a few minutes.
"I've been going through her stuff," Dulles said. "Somebody went through it before I even got into town. The computer's wiped."
"The first person was me," Angela said.
"What?!"
"I knew the others would be coming. I downloaded all her computer files, then wiped the computer. I grabbed a bunch of other stuff, too." She handed him a key. "This is for a small storage locker, but don't go looking for it right away--you're being watched. It might be easier for me to ship it to you out of state later." She handed him another key. "This is for your father's storage locker, same recommendation." She handed him a flash drive. "These are the computer files--I didn't look at any of them."
"So she followed in her father's footsteps and got herself murdered? Why should I trust you?"
"I brought cake," she said, smiling. (No effect.) "Okay, well, there's a lot of stuff I need to explain to you. Your father--"
"Her father," he interrupted. "My parents were murdered in a Chilean prison!"
Angela nodded. "I know. Henry was in the CIA, then the Heurich Society. She inherited a lot of his secrets. She took over the Heurich Society by blackmailing them, and never gained a lot of respect or admiration. I used to work for Henry before he died: he's the one that trained me and molded me to be a super spy for Heurich. I protected Button for awhile, but then she didn't want me around anymore."
"She said you went crazy."
"I have supernatural abilities," she said. "You can call it crazy if you want."
"Seriously?"
"I saw Button in the Dreamtime, just after she died. She came to me, told me Dick Cheney killed her."
"Sure."
"We talked about a lot of things," Angela said, ignoring his sarcasm. "She had to go to Purgatory, but she'll make it. Henry's another story." She sipped some more wine. "I can't communicate directly with him, but I know he wants revenge for her murder. He's furious that she's not a ghost with him and he can't even see her."
"Because he's in Hell?"
"He was in Purgatory, but they kicked him out. He's stuck on Earth for the time being."
"Why are you telling me all this?" asked Dulles.
"Because she was your sister and you loved her. Maybe you're going to look through all this stuff, and it's going to eat away at you and make you bitter. She didn't even like her dad, but she wanted to fulfill his legacy anyway--took the same enemies he had. I don't want to see you go down that path."
"Thank you, great spirit guide!" he sneered.
"That's fine," she said. "You're going to learn some ugly things about the world when you go through this stuff."
"Uglier than stealing babies and killing their parents?"
"Stuff that's still going on now. Stuff you will have a reaction to. Stuff that will scar you and change you." She pulled out one more item from her pocket. "Button asked me to give you this charm necklace. She said you gave it to her as a birthday present when you were both kids."
"She could have told you that at anytime."
"Her mother--your adoptive mother--was also in the Dreamtime. She asked me to tell you that you're not alone: you're still loved."
"Whatever."
"She said to ask you to burn everything, get married before it's too late, have some kids of your own."
"Okay, then."
"I can look for your Chilean parents in the Dreamtime, if you want me to." Dulles said nothing, and Angela got up to leave. "Nobody can hurt you while you're in D.C.--I'll be watching out for you."
"You didn't do a very good job of watching out for Button!"
"She pushed me away and went down the dark path--you're not on it. I hope it stays that way."
Angela let herself out. She stood outside the apartment door, sensing the fury on the other side of it--the legacy of Henry Samuelson just wouldn't die. She walked away, feeling Ghost Henry jabbing at her neck, but she could never hear him. John Doe would seek her out again and give her another message eventually. "I'm watching over him, Henry," she whispered. "Just let it be."
But Ghost Henry would never rest until Dick Cheney was six feet under.
Several miles away, Barbara Hellmeister was popping a champagne bottle for herself--or, rather, a bottle of sparkling wine from the Rhine Valley. She had just tested a bio-targeting neutron bomb that successfully killed all the squirrels in her backyard, and every other backyard on the block of dilapidated Southeast rowhouses she was currently hiding out in. The birds and insects were all still alive, and the handful of humans living in the other houses, but the squirrels were dead as doorknobs! The money given to her by the Bicameral Anti-Zombie Caucus for this research was not a lot, but she had made significant progress. (The Caucus knew her as "Betty Brandt", a biochemist, and had no idea that it was her previous experiments under the name of "Basia Karbusky" which had started the zombie epidemic in Washington.) She sipped champagne, re-read some pages from her Nazi grandfather's notebook, then wrote down some notes in her own. She looked out on the three squirrels that had fallen dead out of tree branches, knowing there were probably ten more in the bushes she would have to clean up--but sometimes this kind of work did get messy.
But could she create a bio-marker for zombies? This was the $64,000 question. And while she did feel a little responsible for the zombie epidemic in Congress, there were other voting blocs in Congress that bothered her a lot more than the Zombie Caucus! But she couldn't do a bio-marker for those groups unless she got DNA samples from every member, and then, of course, a lot of other people would probably die as well. So while she was working on analyzing zombie tissue to create a bio-marker for them, she was really more interested in when she might see the FBI Director and his deputies testifying on Capitol Hill--and could drop a 400-foot-radius neutron bomb on them! But the Anti-Zombie Caucus was getting restless and would probably not give her funding for much longer. She picked up the phone to call Congressman Herrmark's Chief of Staff and tell her that she had just successfully deployed a bio-targeted neutron bomb, and needed another $100,000 to work on the zombie bio-marker...and buy more explosive materials!
Up on Capitol Hill, former Supreme Court clerk Wince had finally finished and emailed off the memo requested by his Lye, Cheit and Steele boss. He got himself another snack and sat back down at his personal computer, resolved to make one more attempt to hack into his former fiancée's cloud account to see whom she was dating. He had tried every possible password he could think of, and was starting to believe she must be using the name of that very same boyfriend Wince was trying to discover. He looked at her Facebook one more time for a clue--any clue. It was impossible she didn't have a new boyfriend by now! Why was she hiding him? And that's when it hit him: she is hiding him! But why? She's ashamed of him, or he's somebody that I know, or he's married--no, she would never date a married guy! He poured more Fritos into his mouth, then started searching Facebook to look for others who had tagged Bridezilla. It took a quarter-hour, but he finally saw it: a photo posted by somebody on a trip to Cuba had her tagged in it! Her Cuba Practices Group trip! He scanned the photo and then saw him: the good-looking guy Bridezilla was looking at...tagged "Paul".
He went into the cloud again, and after trying several variations of "Paul", he finally hacked into her account. After that, it didn't take long to find the pictures. A total dreamboat of a guy. Why is she not posting him on her own Facebook? Ten minutes later, Wince figured out that dreamboat Paul was a lowly contract attorney! She's dating a loser! He laughed out loud. She had broken their engagement--their second engagement!--and was now having a shameful affair with an underling! He rubbed his hands in glee, pondering how many different ways he could embarrass her with this information. Then Wince did a little more research on Paul and found some other tags on Facebook which maybe Bridezilla had not seen....Paul is gay? Bisexual? Oh, baby! This is not going to end well for you!
Back in Northwest, Angela de la Paz walked into the late Button Samuelson's apartment. "How ya doing?" she asked Button's brother, Dulles, whom she had met a few days earlier at the funeral. He shook his head, and she realized it was a stupid question. "I brought leftover cake from a 4-year-old's birthday party," Angela said. "You want some?" She pulled it out of the bag without waiting for an answer, and got out plates and forks. She looked around for liquor and found an open bottle of wine. They sat at the table in silence for a few minutes.
"I've been going through her stuff," Dulles said. "Somebody went through it before I even got into town. The computer's wiped."
"The first person was me," Angela said.
"What?!"
"I knew the others would be coming. I downloaded all her computer files, then wiped the computer. I grabbed a bunch of other stuff, too." She handed him a key. "This is for a small storage locker, but don't go looking for it right away--you're being watched. It might be easier for me to ship it to you out of state later." She handed him another key. "This is for your father's storage locker, same recommendation." She handed him a flash drive. "These are the computer files--I didn't look at any of them."
"So she followed in her father's footsteps and got herself murdered? Why should I trust you?"
"I brought cake," she said, smiling. (No effect.) "Okay, well, there's a lot of stuff I need to explain to you. Your father--"
"Her father," he interrupted. "My parents were murdered in a Chilean prison!"
Angela nodded. "I know. Henry was in the CIA, then the Heurich Society. She inherited a lot of his secrets. She took over the Heurich Society by blackmailing them, and never gained a lot of respect or admiration. I used to work for Henry before he died: he's the one that trained me and molded me to be a super spy for Heurich. I protected Button for awhile, but then she didn't want me around anymore."
"She said you went crazy."
"I have supernatural abilities," she said. "You can call it crazy if you want."
"Seriously?"
"I saw Button in the Dreamtime, just after she died. She came to me, told me Dick Cheney killed her."
"Sure."
"We talked about a lot of things," Angela said, ignoring his sarcasm. "She had to go to Purgatory, but she'll make it. Henry's another story." She sipped some more wine. "I can't communicate directly with him, but I know he wants revenge for her murder. He's furious that she's not a ghost with him and he can't even see her."
"Because he's in Hell?"
"He was in Purgatory, but they kicked him out. He's stuck on Earth for the time being."
"Why are you telling me all this?" asked Dulles.
"Because she was your sister and you loved her. Maybe you're going to look through all this stuff, and it's going to eat away at you and make you bitter. She didn't even like her dad, but she wanted to fulfill his legacy anyway--took the same enemies he had. I don't want to see you go down that path."
"Thank you, great spirit guide!" he sneered.
"That's fine," she said. "You're going to learn some ugly things about the world when you go through this stuff."
"Uglier than stealing babies and killing their parents?"
"Stuff that's still going on now. Stuff you will have a reaction to. Stuff that will scar you and change you." She pulled out one more item from her pocket. "Button asked me to give you this charm necklace. She said you gave it to her as a birthday present when you were both kids."
"She could have told you that at anytime."
"Her mother--your adoptive mother--was also in the Dreamtime. She asked me to tell you that you're not alone: you're still loved."
"Whatever."
"She said to ask you to burn everything, get married before it's too late, have some kids of your own."
"Okay, then."
"I can look for your Chilean parents in the Dreamtime, if you want me to." Dulles said nothing, and Angela got up to leave. "Nobody can hurt you while you're in D.C.--I'll be watching out for you."
"You didn't do a very good job of watching out for Button!"
"She pushed me away and went down the dark path--you're not on it. I hope it stays that way."
Angela let herself out. She stood outside the apartment door, sensing the fury on the other side of it--the legacy of Henry Samuelson just wouldn't die. She walked away, feeling Ghost Henry jabbing at her neck, but she could never hear him. John Doe would seek her out again and give her another message eventually. "I'm watching over him, Henry," she whispered. "Just let it be."
But Ghost Henry would never rest until Dick Cheney was six feet under.
posted by washingtonwaterwoman | 4:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home