Washington Horror Blog

SEMI-FICTIONAL CHRONICLE of the EVIL THAT INFECTS WASHINGTON, D.C. To read Prologue and Character Guide, please see www.washingtonhorrorblog.com, updated 6/6//2017. Follow Washington Water Woman on Twitter @HorrorDC ....

Sunday, April 26, 2015

A Hairy Tale (in lieu of a fairy tale!)

Washington Water Woman is worn out from hosting out-of-town guests and serving as President Obama's "anger translator" at last night's White House Correspondents' Dinner, so she will have to wait until next week to update your favorite stories and characters in Washington Horror Blog.

Posted for your pleasure this week is a silly story written by Washington Water Woman and a couple of her friends (in one hour!) for a recent D.C. story slam.  Enjoy!

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"The Barber Who Fell Down and Then Fell Up" (by three amigos)

Harvey, the barber, was in a terrible mood.  Everybody had called in sick, and he had been on his feet all day.  Nobody had been there all day to clean up, so a carpet of hair had blown into the customers' faces every time the door had opened.  Harvey's allergy to hair was normally rather mild, but he had never had so much hair blow into his face before.  He even had some customers vomit.  Then one of the customers called the health department, which immediately dispatched an inspector on motorcycle--who promptly closed the barber shop down because of the excessive hair and vomit.  (You see, there are regulations about how much hair and vomit there can be.)  When he was ready to leave the shop in disgust, he slid on the vomit, fell down, hit his head on the barber chair foot rest, and blacked out.

When he came to, he was at the Hirshorn, which was curious because he hated modern art.  Then an angry man was yelling at him because Harvey had mouthed off to the angry man's girlfriend, a performance artist whose act involved gluing hair to spectator faces.  Harvey ran away, and as he was outside trying to catch his breath, he realized he was very hungry, and went off to find the nearest restaurant.  Unfortunately, they were out of everything except salad, and he had never eaten a salad in his life.  He reluctantly ordered a salad, and sat down to eat it.

Then the performance artist came in to get her favorite salad, and saw her heckler.  She confronted him, but he had no memory of ever seeing her before.  As she scolded him, Harvey realized she was the performance artist whose angry boyfriend he had just eluded, so Harvey apologized and told her he had been having a bad day.  She explained her art to him, and then he told her that he could supply her with all the hair she needed.  She said that's more than her boyfriend ever did for her.

She sat down to eat salad with him, and as they discussed their new business arrangement, they fell in love over the arugula.

THE END.

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COMING UP:   DC Fairy Tale Endings

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