Washington Horror Blog

SEMI-FICTIONAL CHRONICLE of the EVIL THAT INFECTS WASHINGTON, D.C. To read Prologue and Character Guide, please see www.washingtonhorrorblog.com, updated 6/6//2017. Follow Washington Water Woman on Twitter @HorrorDC ....

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Poisoning the Umbilical Cord

The CIA and Ghost CIA had never agreed on much, but they were now united in (1) their outrage that Donald Trump was obviously planning to run the country as a vassal of Russia and (2) their disdain for the FBI's absolute refusal to atone for their malfeasance in letting things get to this point.

Forget the damned laws! Ghost Henry was shouting at the CIA Director.  It's time to interfere in domestic affairs!

The CIA Director poked at his ear to try to get the weird humming noise to stop, but to no avail.

Gaaa!  The former CIA agent had been fairly intelligent about certain things, but he still had a lot of trouble communicating with the living.  This is a waste of time!  Ghost Henry was furious at himself for thinking Trump would be easily manipulated by intelligence officers, as it was now looking increasingly likely that Putin was holding serious blackmail against Trump.  Frantic, he flitted off to consult again with the spooks of the Ghost CIA on ways they could stop this Molotov cocktail from blowing up the White House.

"I'm not going to let this Molotov cocktail blow up the White House!"  CIA Director John Brennan suddenly blurted out after the ringing stopped.  He was in the middle of another emergency briefing with his deputies about the intelligence deep dive going on concerning Russian interference in the Election.  "God damn them all to Hell!"

"Yes, sir," said a deputy.  "Why don't you go home and get some rest, and tomorrow morning we'll--"

"There might not be a tomorrow morning at this rate!  If we can't stop Vladimir Putin, where does that leave us?!  China will be the only superpower left standing!  And I've got Deplorables on Twitter saying I'm the one running ISIS!"

"Well, on the bright side, nobody's really a Communist anymore."

"That's not the point!"

"Yes, sir!"

"And everybody's under suspicion!"

"Sir?"

"The next Russian mole I find in this agency or in the FBI is going to be personally eviscerated by me!"

"Well, he wants Tillerson functioning as a public mole at the State Department, sir.  We're in uncharted waters."

"To Hell we are!" fumed Brennan.

"These are not uncharted waters," said the Jesuit priest a mile away.  "The Founding Fathers warned us about emoluments and foreign intrigue and--"

"You're asking me to kidnap members of the Electoral College so that you can deprogram them from voting for Donald Trump!?" exclaimed Solomon Kane.

"'Kidnap' is such a strong word," said the Rabbi, while other members of the Seekers nodded.  "We just need to get their attention."

"You only had about a 50-50 success rate with the voter exorcisms," said Kane.  "What makes you think this is the way to go?  Aren't other people trying social media and legal tactics to persuade the Electors to exercise their discretion?"

"Trumpism is primarily a spiritual affliction," said the Buddhist.  "We need to free their minds and spirits to be receptive to what the energies of the universe are channeling."

"What my esteemed colleague is trying to say," said the Muslim cleric, "is that logic and logical tactics are no match for this kind of evil."

"An evil so insidious that millions of people still view it in sheep's clothing!" added the Methodist minister.

Solomon Kane suddenly had a strange nostalgia for being John Boehner's bodyguard...and wished somebody would just hire him for an old-fashioned hit.

(If Ghost Henry could do something that simple, he would.)

A mile north in upper Georgetown, Golden Fawn and Marcos Vazquez were hosting a potluck dinner for a partially reassembled Coalition.  It was the Warrior who had first alerted them that Ardua of the Potomac had returned stronger than ever and that Angela de la Paz was so demoralized by the demonic resurgence that she was currently out of commission.

"How can we defeat Ardua without Angela?" asked Sebastian L'Arche.  "I can't begin to tell you how ugly it's gotten in the animal world."

"Maybe there's another way to go about this," said Charles Wu.  "A lot of lawyers and political organizers and journalists are working hard to make sure Trump never takes office."  (He didn't mention hackers--like his own Tarantula--who were boosting intelligence to expose the Russian interference and all of Trump's other dirt.)

"Is that what you think this is about?" asked Lynnette Wong.  "A lot of evil is needed to raise up somebody like Trump, and just look at the disgusting people he's picking for the Cabinet!  We have to fight evil influencing all these people!  Politics is just a side effect."

"But that demon fed off the Nazi energy out there," said the Cheyenne known to most as "the Warrior".  He had seen a lot of politics come and go in his 400-plus years of life, but he had never seen anything as evil as Nazism.

"We have to deal with everything," said Marcos Vazquez, a Coast Guard office who spent more time near Ardua than anybody.  "I don't think there's a silver bullet."

"But we have to prioritize," said Golden Fawn.  "The assault on Mother Earth that is coming from this Administration will be like poisoning her umbilical cord to all of us."

"Earth can survive," said L'Arche.  "The assault on civil rights is already getting people attacked and killed."

"Surely the priority is to prevent Trump from taking office?" asked Wu.

"He did win the Election," said Wong, afraid of any action that was undemocratic.

"You can't defend him just because your parents were Taiwanese!" exclaimed Wu.

"I'm not defending him, but you can't subvert democracy just because you're Chinese!" she retorted.

"I'm from Hong Kong!" said Wu, testily.  "My attorney explained about the Electoral College, and we need to do everything possible for him not to get elected at all."

It was then that Golden Fawn fainted dead away.  Later they would conclude it was because she was pregnant; even later than that, she would learn of the recurrent breast cancer caused by the crazy herbs her mother-in-law had hidden in her food to get her pregnant.  But for now, the Coalition members were all chastened that they had argued like this in her home, and promised her and her husband Marcos that they would, in fact, try to deal with everything.

Outside the dining room window, a flock of starlings took wing to report in to Ardua.

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COMING UP:   The most frightful 
holiday parties in the country!

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